30 December 2006

Spelling Mistakes

Amazing is the way of life. Now u want not proper spellings as we all learnt in school. Whats now required is plain and simple spelling mistakes. If u know, you can be a millionaire. Now who does not want to. Please English teachers tell ur kids that spelling mistakes are good for business. If u want to be good at it forget spellings. Or wait u can also become the president of 1 country called USA. So guys dont bug people for spellings and pronunciations or u wont go far.

Hey wait I just heard of this guy who went to Sidney instead of Sydney to meet his girlfriend. Sad story. So guys if u want to travel know ur spellings well else ur in for a surprise. But millionaires always know where to make mistakes ;-)

27 November 2006

Indian or Universal Male Behavior ??

Guys I just came across this amazing blog. This guy talks about a high tech urinal which will go underground for the day time and come out when required. But thats not what I am blogging about. Its about the supposed Indian only male behavior that they just urinate anywhere and everywher. But as you can see in the video link on the blog that it happens elsewhere too. And only the males do it and not females (or so the video says). Females instead go in search of a proper toilet. Wow...That relieves of the thought that it’s not an 'Indians only' behavior. It’s Universal. This also leads to modify this old joke
Democratic difference between India and Canada: You can piss in public India but not Canada.....But You cannot kiss in public India but in Canada
So the new joke is like this

Similarity between Indian and Canada : Males want to kiss and piss in Public although it may not be allowed.
Sad one but OK enjoy!!!

03 November 2006

Is IE7 a Virus?

You might have heard of an old joke called Is Windows a Virus? If not then let me refresh your mind

No, Windows is not a virus.

Here's what viruses do:

They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.

Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus...but there are fundamental differences:

Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.

A similar comparison I found in here between IE7 and a virus. True IE7 does seem to be a virus. Some of the points being

  • It gets installed without any user intervention. You have no control over. Just like protection from a virus you need to make prior arrangements and patching to prevent its installation or turn off some features.
  • It just hogs your system to the highest level. It makes you feel that the RAM is not enough and you need more of hard disk space. You might be led into believing that you need a faster processor.

  • Miscreants(read MS) make you believe that it is needed for getting your work done.

  • But inspire of all this it’s still not a virus. Because of the same reason that windows was not a virus
    • It’s not stable
    • It’s not fast
    • its code is not compact nor efficient.
    • Most of all its not come out with new features and is a cheap copy of others like Firefox and Opera.
Hence IE7 too is a bug and not a sophisticated virus as it may seem.

One more amazing research

These researches now are driving me crazy. I really feel that these people just make things up. I now even do not believe the real researches. Call me cynical or whatever but this research is hopeless. I don't know what they want to say with statements like these.

  1. 13.7 percent (more than one out of eight respondents) found it hard to stay away from the Internet for several days at a time
  2. 12.4 percent stayed online longer than intended very often or often
  3. 12.3 percent had seen a need to cut back on Internet use at some point
  4. 8.7 percent attempted to conceal non-essential Internet use from family, friends and employers
  5. 8.2 percent used the Internet as a way to escape problems or relieve negative mood
  6. 5.9 percent felt their relationships suffered as a result of excessive Internet use
Statement 1.
I really don't know how many people find it hard to stay away from their mailbox or their telephones. Do we have to call these people addicts? Man this pure craziness to ask people the question in the first place. It’s not the Stone Age anymore.

Statement 2.
Have you ever talked on phone for the time you intended to. Who are these researchers? Where are they from? Do they belong to 2006? Are they from US or some Martian land?

Statement 3.
I know of 30% of people who would like to cut down on phone and electricity bills. So what are these people phone and electricity addicts?

Statement 4.
Did they ask these people whether this 8.3% was porn content? I am still wondering the objective behind the question. One more question...How many people conceal their chats with friends from others???

Statement 5.
I thought people thought of Internet as an infotainment medium. So where to people go when they are feeling down. But then 1 out of 11 choosing internet to lift his mood is pretty good. So people are taking the net as a medium of entertainment very well. I think I only make this out of the figures.

Statement 6
5.9% felt their relationship suffered due to excessive internet use. Now this is something to be worried about. But wait did they even try to learn from the subject that how many had relationships made due to this internet. It just that some people like to talk and when ur partner does not you cannot necessarily carry on the relation.

I hate these kinds of people. Who have just learnt how to collect figures and finances to collect the figures? They don’t realize that it takes more than numbers to be a freakonomic kind of person. It needs brains that can think in directions more than one.

I read some where that

89.34% of the statistics are made up. Just like the one you are reading right now.

Must be true you see ;-)

02 November 2006

Munnabhai Fail ho Gaya

Munnabhai before meeting with Bapu had a magical hug or 'Jaadu ki Jhappi'. It created a magic on screen in his part one. Then there was also the Free Hugs campaign in Kangarooland. This speed its wings across the world. But one place was just so insensitive to accept this. Guess what where is the resistance coming from. It the censored place called China You are not supposed to hug anyone. Else you might be jailed. The reason is not very different from the usual comments from Mr. Balasaheb Thakrey or from the VHP and RSS bigheads. So my friends if next time you are in China remember hugging or pissing in public. It’s all banned in China. Munnabhai bad news for you, No more Chinese version of ur MBBS edition. Vidhu Vinod Chopra are you listening

I am an autist

I am saying that I'm an autist. But then it sounds funny but it’s true. I am sure that you guys must have read about autism being induced by TV in the news (on TV). Still guys let me give you some intro to this disease. Heres what Webster’s have to say about it


Pronunciation: 'o-"ti-z&m

Function: noun
: a variable developmental disorder that appears by age three
and is characterized by impairment of the ability to form normal social
relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate with others,
and by stereotyped behavior patterns
- au·tis·tic /o-'tis-tik/ adjective or noun
- au·tis·ti·cal·ly /
-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb

The Free Online Dictionary

au·tism (├┤-ti-zm)


A psychiatric disorder of childhood characterized by marked deficits in
communication and social interaction, preoccupation with fantasy,
language impairment, and abnormal behavior, such as repetitive acts and
excessive attachment to certain objects. It is usually associated with
intellectual impairment.

au-tist n.

au·tis-tic (-tik) adj. & n.

au·tisti·cal·ly adv.

So now let me list some characteristics of this disease.

  • It affects children (Sadly I am no more one, but still I believe that I am one at heart. So I qualify)
  • Communication and social interaction disorder (Hey man I am blogging about some useless thing... I am on orkut....I am on gazzag.....I am on yahoo360......But I hate myspace......This is odd....on top of it I also do not know the names of the 20 odd people staying in my apartment. I am not able to communicate properly and social interaction is weird)
  • stereotyped behavior patterns ( hey I don’t know what these guys are talking of)
  • preoccupation with fantasy (I love to fantasize a lot of things.....like being the next Bill Gates or Rambo...Ya sometimes I also think of being Linus Travolds)
  • language impairment ( My language marks throughout my schooling talks volumes of it as does this blog)
  • abnormal behavior, such as repetitive acts and excessive attachment to certain objects ( Man I just keep blogging and posting the same scraps to all friends on orkut....I just too much attached to my PC and cell....I cant live without that and also my google account..Please do not hack it...I will die without it)
  • usually associated with intellectual impairment.( I am in IT industry)

Need more proof of me being an autist. I think that you too must be thinking that what a weirdo. I too have similar symptoms. But then I never knew that I was a last stage case of this terrifying disorder.

Doesn't all this seem like another great American cynicism? Please leave us. We are just like that. Just let the kids be kids. They sometimes want to talk, jump, run or just watch their weird fav. shows. It’s not a disorder it’s just their personality. To top all this they say it’s induced by TV. Man they are just getting on my nerves. And there are two American freaks who have this to say though in a lighter sense

My theory: when it rains a lot, parents watch more TV, see more shows
about autism, and this leads them to seek out a diagnosis of autism for
their kids. They have the same kids; it is just that TV makes them
believe that their kids are autistic.

Gad save us from the weird research papers like this

09 October 2006

My Best Cell Phone

I was just wondering at so many cell phones available out in the market. Though I still use Nokia 1100, but that does not stop me imagining the best cell phone for me. After a lot of thoughts on it I have come up with my own specification. So here it goes.

  1. Good external speakers. Crystal clear sound. And the sound should be loud enough that removes the need for extra addon speakers at any time.
  2. The mic should be such that it can cut off all the noise in the background(High tech but I think its possible)
  3. A good camera, around 4Mega pixel one. Also capable of recording movies in DVD Quality.
  4. Storage capacity of 100GB. Use any means possible. I hardly care.
  5. Should be small in size...Not any bigger than my Nokia 1100 right now.
  6. Screen resolution of some 16million colours at least.
  7. Should have a screen that is big enough almost as big as the whole phone and. Better if its extensible by opening the panel outwards.
  8. Keypad with keys like a normal keyboard unlike usual phones.
  9. Ability to introduce sounds of my own choice...Like faking a situation of being in traffic and still being in comforts of our own home.
  10. Run Firefox browser with all my faverite extensions.
  11. A fingerprint recognition system which will allow access to all my data in a sercure manner. Like if my cell phone gets stolen then others should not be able to use it at all.
  12. In fact it should have a protection system so that if my cell gets stolen, I can get the location of the user who is currently using and I would be able to retreve my ultra costly cell.
  13. Superfast 3G connectivity to Internet for all my browsing needs.
  14. Allow me to have GAIM like chat program so that I can always keep in touch with my pals.
  15. I dont think I need to mention things like IR or Bluetooth. But it would be great if WiFi or WiMax if built into it. I would just be all too amazing to have things that way.
  16. SIP facility will be the biggest bonus of all.
Surely I would like any other worthwhile feature that can be built into it.

18 September 2006

And he was talking of logic, reasoning and religion

Hi friends, you might read the above as wonder why is this on my blog. Well simple isn't. It’s about the recent controversy on Papal Address at University of Regendsburg. A lot of demonstrations etc are being held all over the world. But I doubt how many people have actually read the Papal Address. And I must say that his remarks are remarkable going with him. I think this is what is called "Saanp ke aage been bajaana". He wanted people not to go by what the leaders are saying but what logic and reasoning says. He wanted people to apply logic. But do people know.

I really feel that whatever is the 'Fatwa'. Some people will follow. It just makes others feel that Muslims by the virtue of being one lose the sense of being a logical person. But I know that it’s not true. I have a few friends who are Muslims. But not the so called "Madarsa Idiots". How can they ask for an apology just for the sake of mention of Islam in his speech? What he said was this

In the seventh conversation (”di├ílesis” — controversy)
edited by professor Khoury, the emperor touches on the theme of the jihad (holy war). The emperor must have known that sura 2:256 reads: “There is no compulsion in religion.” It is one of the suras of the early period, when Mohammed was still powerless and under [threat]. But naturally the emperor also knew the instructions, developed later and recorded in the Koran, concerning holy war.

Without descending to details, such as the difference in treatment accorded to those who have the “Book” and the “infidels,” he turns to his interlocutor somewhat brusquely with the central question on the relationship between religion and violence in general, in these words: “Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.”

The emperor goes on to explain in detail the reasons why spreading the faith through violence is something unreasonable. Violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul. “God is not pleased by blood, and not acting reasonably (”syn logo”) is contrary to God’s nature. Faith is born of the soul, not the body. Whoever would lead someone to faith needs the ability to speak well and to reason properly, without violence and threats…. To convince a reasonable soul, one does not need a strong arm, or weapons of any kind, or any other means of threatening a person with death….”

The decisive statement in this argument against violent conversion is this: Not to act in accordance with reason is contrary to God’s nature. The editor, Theodore Khoury, observes: For the emperor, as a Byzantine shaped by Greek philosophy, this statement is self-evident. But for Muslim teaching, God is absolutely transcendent. His will is not bound up with any of our categories, even that of rationality. Here Khoury quotes a work of the noted French Islamist R. Arnaldez, who points out that Ibn Hazn went so far as to state that God is not bound even by his own word, and that nothing would oblige him to reveal the truth to us. Were it God’s will, we would even have to practice idolatry.

Now how does he insult Islam? He just said what some idiots like Al-Quaida, Lashkar-e-Toiba et. al. say day in and day out. News just came in that they wanted to kill Pope. Aur yeh gaya logic khadde mein. I wish that some other Muslim clerics come up with some 'Fatwa' against these irrational and terrorist organizations. But again truth be told "Idiots remain Idiots and those in power would never try do something thing good". This thing has to come from the youth and those outside the circle. This has been seen for long and the last being with the issue of Reservation. Now I did not hear even a single political party say anything with regard to this issue which actually hurts a large number of people. But will they listen. They just need votes. Same goes for these clergy. I think it’s the role of the media to educate the people about the truth. But then media is just another tool for these bigwigs to retain their power and authority. Today all are standing to fight a non-existent monstrous statement and the Vatican too is saying sorry. Yes nobody becomes small be saying sorry (Gandhigiri), but will the truth prevail?

But this controversy has brought into forefront something like the long forgotten idiot Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Paleologus, French Islamist R. Arnaldez and professor Khoury. The fact that people in this world are still stupid enough to not understand things and make a lot of fuss about anything. Similarly came into focus those Mullas who have no better job than to issue 'Fatwas'. And one more thing that I would like to add is that whatever the Papal had in his thought was just reinforced by the sort of reaction that the world saw from the Muslim world. I think that they need to be more logical and understand what the other person is saying. Not just jump guns as in case of "Cartoon Controversy".

God/Allah/Bhagwan if you are really there then please issue a statement for these misguided people so that they can be come back to the righteous path of logic, reason and humanity. Amen

13 September 2006

Munnabhai Ne To Maccha Diya

Munnabhai ne pehle MBBS ki degree lee aur khola pol All India Munnabhai's & Company ka. But this time around he is different. And I am sure parallels with Munna this time around is not possible. Though he has this great sword of TADA hanging on him in real world but still acting is acting and he just does it all too well.

It was good to see a one time drug addict and TADA accused taking up the challenge of tackling the problems of life in a totally 'Gandhigiri' manner. The gem of creativity is that he came up with 'Gandhigiri'. Now the rather innocent and sacrosanct word 'Gandhiwad' seems like a totally defeated lot. Probably the Hindi Teachers souls are crying this day. And I don't find it impossible that some guy in some school would have had written 'Gandhigiri' instead of Gandhiwad'. But if you look at what our politicians have done with Samajwad, Gandhiwad and Lohiawad. I very well suggest that commoner like us take to Gandhigiri because it seems all too
better. Probably that same hypocrisy surrounding the -Wads don't come into picture in this word. I only wish if we could really turn the world around for these selfish petty politicians

Other great point that is highlighted in this movie probably is the fact that there still exist people like 'Batuknaath'(For those who do not know who he is then let me tell you that he is an astrologer who says that he can never go wrong with predictions). Well to start with we have so many people in the film industry who themselves are slaves of Batuknaths. The 'K' Klanists' Mr Roshan and Miss Kapoor. Then you have Kariena Kapoor, Rimmi Sen and tons of others. I guess that list of names can actually be very long. But people still believe in those. I wonder why not there are people who are changing their name to Amitabh Bachchan or Shahrukh Khan. Sachin Tendulkar is not bad either. But I suggest that you take the name Bill Gates. Adding one letter extra or removing requires a lot of time to think, but these are readymade names. And you need not pay those astrologers which may cost you a bomb. And if names actually do something better then I think you must use these tried and tested names only. Alas not many people come to my blog to read about it. (May I add that my newspaper boy is named 'Shahrukh Khan')

12 September 2006

Wah re Bande 'Vande Matram'

A lot has been written and told. Many views have emerged and finally it was over. 7th of September came and went. The Congress wants to say that 'Ok man no probs. If you wish to sing then is good else whatever who cares'. And the counter view is from BJP -- 'Sing or loose ur right to be an Indian'. Then you have all those journalists asking every person in the street -- 'Hey man do u know how to sing Vande Matram ' or ' Do you know the meaning of this word or that one'.
Just too much of bullshit has been going on here now. It makes me feel confused. I was not able to realise what is right or what is wrong. But then enlightment came from an unknown source. It was "V for Vendetta". A movie, a cartoon but I guess one great thing about this movie was that it said was enough for me to realise the truth in this mess. Those words are

"Symbol by itself has no meaning, but with enough people it can change the world"

Really this national song was nothing but a symbol. A symbol in the 1900's a sign of revolt. And I beleive it was the masterly diplomatic skills of Mahatma Gandhi that he foresaw the power symbols have. All the acts of his were nothing more than symbol. And to make it efffective he did have something called people power. No doubt he brought revolution using this very idea.

Shaheed Bhagat Singh was bombed the parliament, but it was not that he wanted kill those Firangi bastards there. Infact it was supposed to be a symbol. But alas at that time he just did not have the right combination of symbol and people power.

In todays context I would say it hardly matters if we actually understand what each and every word of our national song means. Frankly speaking I hardly know it by heart. But whats more important is that my heart knows this song. Material data like when is was compose (in 1882) et al hardly matter as it is now more than song, it is a symbol of rebellion, a symbol of the fact that I love my country and would die for it. It says more than I bow/salute to you hey Mother India. Its a symbol of expression of affectiona nd love fr our country.

Its these petty politicians and a handful of fanatic clerics who have no other means of achieving popularity other than by making these kinds of irrational and intolerant statements. These include not just the left or the right it includes all. I just hope that the real people of India understand what it means actually and what our National Song stands for.