Theory of Stupidity

Well its an interesting topic to research on. Though I am not doing any kind of Ph.D on it but still I feel I have had enough of such experiences to believe that I am able enough to talk about it. More so because I am a keen observer. I am always observing who is visiting my site for example. I have explained this theory to a lot of my friends. Interestingly never has anyone come up with a counter argument. Anyways lets get to the point.

There is some smart guy(Me) who has formed the law of stupidity which goes as follows.


  1. Everyone is stupid.
  2. Smartness is actually just absence of stupidity
  3. Stupidity is proportional to hair length. 

First Law basically says is that "Stupidity is ubiquous". This means that stupidity is everywhere. Each one of us is stupid to some extent. Each one of us will act stupid in one situation or the other. Take me for example, I will act totally stupid when I am talking to a girl over whom I have some level of attraction. I will blabber something totally stupid. End result I do not have a girlfriend :-(. I am actually happy about it as I do not act stupid in front of my friends as some other friends of mine (with girlfriends) often have to.  I hope you all agree to it.

Second Law states basically means that like darkness is absence of light, same smartness is absence of stupidity. If you dont have stupidity you will have smartness. Thats all I say. I am sure many of you wont agree to it. But then why do you say that everyone is smart. We never say that. If you look at any child he his much smarter initially. He knows how to take care of himself. Once he has lost control of his instincts and starts using his synaptic neurons, stupidity is induced in his actions. If I am right then either evolution has introduced stupidity in all of us at some later point of time. If I am wrong then its there since epoch. But if it was since epoch then the stupidity would have lead to killing of the stupid janta as hunters needed a lot of smartness. Hence I am lead into believing that the future of humanity is bleak. Especially after watching the movie 'Idiocracy', to me it does not seem impossible.

The third law tries to quantify stupidity. Well my observation says that stupidity is proportional to hair length. So basically longer the hair, more stupid you would be. To prove my point here I would like to quote certain observations. Well we generally call two kinds of people stupid, the girls and the Sardars. What do they have common? The hair is longer thats it. Not to undermine the possibility of the girls but the most successful one have rather short hair. Let me quote a few people to prove my point, Indira Gandhi, Kiran Bedi, Kiran Mazundar Shaw and Sonia Gandhi. Even Miss Mayawati became the CM after having her hair cur short. Let quote some ladies who I consider stupid, Mamata Bannerjee, Jayalalitha and Rabri Devi. Do you see the point now?  Also the amount of nutrients that is supplied to the brain does not vary all that much, so you can either have your grey cells nourished or the black cells. Either way one of those would experience some amount of stunted growth.

Now lets get to some mathematics. The equation for the third law is something like this

Stupidity(S)  'proportonal to' hairLength(H)

or,  S = c. H, where c=character constant.

This character constant varies from person to person. This is the reason why you would not find so many exception in the successful women and Sardars. You might also find the this phenomenon amusing that even guys with longer hair act dumb more than you female friends would. A possible reason is that their 'c' value is really low and/or hair length is high. Well Einstein would be a good example for exception.

Another interesting thing is if the person is bald. That is to say his hair length is zero. So will he have zero stupidity. Well Actually this is a difficult situation. He has no hair. So we cannot quantify anything. He will definitely inherit stupidity but it cannot be quantified using the usual equation. Just like if you cannot see something what good is a ruler to measure its length.

PS: This post is for fun only. Any intellectual value associated with it is purely a coincidence.


alok said…
Hi Surabh, hope you have remembered me. BTW how things at your end ?

Knowing Human Behaviors is a belongs to a complex topic the discussion is always On, I can say this post of yours indeed requires a Phd. I can see some interesting points you have mentioned here but again the term “Stupidity” is a relative one. So what appears a highly stupid act may not appear the same to another person.

Experts say that we dislike and term things/act as ‘stupid’ to all those annoying and stupid things we do when we discover it with some other person, probably at times a stupid person only able to discover the other.
100rabh™ said…
Your thoughts are indeed true. Stupidity among a lot of other things related to behavior is actually relative. I guess the movie Idiocrasy catches that part of the truth clearly.

All this reminds me of an old saying, Never talk intellect in front of fools, you will be termed one.

But then this particular post was never meant to be anything more than fun. :-)
alok said…
Fun is always welcome.

Ok, I can remember you through our 2nd OCC meet lunch.
100rabh™ said…
Now that does ring some bells :-)

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