27 November 2006

Indian or Universal Male Behavior ??

Guys I just came across this amazing blog. This guy talks about a high tech urinal which will go underground for the day time and come out when required. But thats not what I am blogging about. Its about the supposed Indian only male behavior that they just urinate anywhere and everywher. But as you can see in the video link on the blog that it happens elsewhere too. And only the males do it and not females (or so the video says). Females instead go in search of a proper toilet. Wow...That relieves of the thought that it’s not an 'Indians only' behavior. It’s Universal. This also leads to modify this old joke
Democratic difference between India and Canada: You can piss in public India but not Canada.....But You cannot kiss in public India but in Canada
So the new joke is like this

Similarity between Indian and Canada : Males want to kiss and piss in Public although it may not be allowed.
Sad one but OK enjoy!!!

03 November 2006

Is IE7 a Virus?

You might have heard of an old joke called Is Windows a Virus? If not then let me refresh your mind

No, Windows is not a virus.

Here's what viruses do:

They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.

Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus...but there are fundamental differences:

Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.

A similar comparison I found in here between IE7 and a virus. True IE7 does seem to be a virus. Some of the points being

  • It gets installed without any user intervention. You have no control over. Just like protection from a virus you need to make prior arrangements and patching to prevent its installation or turn off some features.
  • It just hogs your system to the highest level. It makes you feel that the RAM is not enough and you need more of hard disk space. You might be led into believing that you need a faster processor.

  • Miscreants(read MS) make you believe that it is needed for getting your work done.

  • But inspire of all this it’s still not a virus. Because of the same reason that windows was not a virus
    • It’s not stable
    • It’s not fast
    • its code is not compact nor efficient.
    • Most of all its not come out with new features and is a cheap copy of others like Firefox and Opera.
Hence IE7 too is a bug and not a sophisticated virus as it may seem.

One more amazing research

These researches now are driving me crazy. I really feel that these people just make things up. I now even do not believe the real researches. Call me cynical or whatever but this research is hopeless. I don't know what they want to say with statements like these.

  1. 13.7 percent (more than one out of eight respondents) found it hard to stay away from the Internet for several days at a time
  2. 12.4 percent stayed online longer than intended very often or often
  3. 12.3 percent had seen a need to cut back on Internet use at some point
  4. 8.7 percent attempted to conceal non-essential Internet use from family, friends and employers
  5. 8.2 percent used the Internet as a way to escape problems or relieve negative mood
  6. 5.9 percent felt their relationships suffered as a result of excessive Internet use
Statement 1.
I really don't know how many people find it hard to stay away from their mailbox or their telephones. Do we have to call these people addicts? Man this pure craziness to ask people the question in the first place. It’s not the Stone Age anymore.

Statement 2.
Have you ever talked on phone for the time you intended to. Who are these researchers? Where are they from? Do they belong to 2006? Are they from US or some Martian land?

Statement 3.
I know of 30% of people who would like to cut down on phone and electricity bills. So what are these people phone and electricity addicts?

Statement 4.
Did they ask these people whether this 8.3% was porn content? I am still wondering the objective behind the question. One more question...How many people conceal their chats with friends from others???

Statement 5.
I thought people thought of Internet as an infotainment medium. So where to people go when they are feeling down. But then 1 out of 11 choosing internet to lift his mood is pretty good. So people are taking the net as a medium of entertainment very well. I think I only make this out of the figures.

Statement 6
5.9% felt their relationship suffered due to excessive internet use. Now this is something to be worried about. But wait did they even try to learn from the subject that how many had relationships made due to this internet. It just that some people like to talk and when ur partner does not you cannot necessarily carry on the relation.

I hate these kinds of people. Who have just learnt how to collect figures and finances to collect the figures? They don’t realize that it takes more than numbers to be a freakonomic kind of person. It needs brains that can think in directions more than one.

I read some where that

89.34% of the statistics are made up. Just like the one you are reading right now.

Must be true you see ;-)

02 November 2006

Munnabhai Fail ho Gaya

Munnabhai before meeting with Bapu had a magical hug or 'Jaadu ki Jhappi'. It created a magic on screen in his part one. Then there was also the Free Hugs campaign in Kangarooland. This speed its wings across the world. But one place was just so insensitive to accept this. Guess what where is the resistance coming from. It the censored place called China You are not supposed to hug anyone. Else you might be jailed. The reason is not very different from the usual comments from Mr. Balasaheb Thakrey or from the VHP and RSS bigheads. So my friends if next time you are in China remember hugging or pissing in public. It’s all banned in China. Munnabhai bad news for you, No more Chinese version of ur MBBS edition. Vidhu Vinod Chopra are you listening

I am an autist

I am saying that I'm an autist. But then it sounds funny but it’s true. I am sure that you guys must have read about autism being induced by TV in the news (on TV). Still guys let me give you some intro to this disease. Heres what Webster’s have to say about it


au·tism


Pronunciation: 'o-"ti-z&m

Function: noun
: a variable developmental disorder that appears by age three
and is characterized by impairment of the ability to form normal social
relationships, by impairment of the ability to communicate with others,
and by stereotyped behavior patterns
- au·tis·tic /o-'tis-tik/ adjective or noun
- au·tis·ti·cal·ly /
-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb


The Free Online Dictionary


au·tism (รด-ti-zm)

n.


A psychiatric disorder of childhood characterized by marked deficits in
communication and social interaction, preoccupation with fantasy,
language impairment, and abnormal behavior, such as repetitive acts and
excessive attachment to certain objects. It is usually associated with
intellectual impairment.

au-tist n.

au·tis-tic (-tik) adj. & n.

au·tisti·cal·ly adv.


So now let me list some characteristics of this disease.

  • It affects children (Sadly I am no more one, but still I believe that I am one at heart. So I qualify)
  • Communication and social interaction disorder (Hey man I am blogging about some useless thing... I am on orkut....I am on gazzag.....I am on yahoo360......But I hate myspace......This is odd....on top of it I also do not know the names of the 20 odd people staying in my apartment. I am not able to communicate properly and social interaction is weird)
  • stereotyped behavior patterns ( hey I don’t know what these guys are talking of)
  • preoccupation with fantasy (I love to fantasize a lot of things.....like being the next Bill Gates or Rambo...Ya sometimes I also think of being Linus Travolds)
  • language impairment ( My language marks throughout my schooling talks volumes of it as does this blog)
  • abnormal behavior, such as repetitive acts and excessive attachment to certain objects ( Man I just keep blogging and posting the same scraps to all friends on orkut....I just too much attached to my PC and cell....I cant live without that and also my google account..Please do not hack it...I will die without it)
  • usually associated with intellectual impairment.( I am in IT industry)

Need more proof of me being an autist. I think that you too must be thinking that what a weirdo. I too have similar symptoms. But then I never knew that I was a last stage case of this terrifying disorder.

Doesn't all this seem like another great American cynicism? Please leave us. We are just like that. Just let the kids be kids. They sometimes want to talk, jump, run or just watch their weird fav. shows. It’s not a disorder it’s just their personality. To top all this they say it’s induced by TV. Man they are just getting on my nerves. And there are two American freaks who have this to say though in a lighter sense


My theory: when it rains a lot, parents watch more TV, see more shows
about autism, and this leads them to seek out a diagnosis of autism for
their kids. They have the same kids; it is just that TV makes them
believe that their kids are autistic.

Gad save us from the weird research papers like this